Quarantine pods are all the rage. People are coming together during the COVID pandemic and committing to a group of people (friends, family, partners etc) be faithful to the pod. That means no going to restaurants/gyms/bars, wearing a mask in public, and sticking to CDC guidelines. It allows kids to see each other and parents to see other adults when they know everyone is being safe. It allows roommates to make peace with having people over. Friends can hang out without having to worry about the risk of exposure. I mean doggy play dates y’all, who doesn’t want that!
People are placing their trust in all involved to do their part. Sometimes that means fessing up to maybe doing something risky and taking appropriate measures to stay safe like…I dunno, getting a COVID test at CVS for free. Just like an STD, it’s better to tell the person than to let anyone else get it. Side note: they also sell condoms and now can prescribe birth control without a provider for $40ish, just sayin’.
Best of all, the pods relieve some of the loneliness and the boredom. It has been so challenging not to dive back into old habits. I miss going out without having to avoid people. I want a pedicure so bad #firstworldproblems. I prefer hugs over elbow bumps. But I want to do my part for my community.
I joined a quarantine pod and I found it to be more rewarding than going out to bars. It’s being debated if it’s more rewarding than getting my feet rubbed…I’ll get back to with a verdict. I moved in with people I had never lived with before…into their house. I wanted to be respectful and keep up with their rules. After about two weeks when everyone started to fart in front of each other comfortably, our dynamics changed. The flow of daily life and monotony had us nipping at each other. It took about another two weeks of adjustment to really get into the flow of things. The adults in the house had to recognize why they were getting so grouchy and then go deal with it.
Exercise helped a lot. And by exercise I totally mean a few leisurely laps around the block, nothing fancy. It allowed us to clear our heads and get our heart rates up. We were definitely sitting on the couch and looking at screens a bunch. It also gave us time to talk where it didn’t feel like an interview. We just walked and let things off our minds. We danced on the sidewalks and would stop to crack jokes. It was the time to reset.
The pod got into the habit of inviting everyone to do an activity with them and not getting offended if they said no. The invitation helped communicate that everyone in the pod mattered. We cared about each other and didn’t want anyone to feel left out. Or when we settled on everyone doing their own things we would make sure to come together for meals and watch tv together after.
These behaviors happened organically as we learned to work with each other’s personalities. When disagreements would pop up here and there, we would talk them out. All feelings became okay to express. It’s a crazy damn time in the world, we are all feeling it! The pod made it a normal thing to do. “I need space but you can come check if I want to hang out in an hour” was something we said often. In the midst of 2020, I was able to find my safe space and learned how to build a safe space with others.
My heart is bursting with gratitude for the sense of community my little pod built. It was the safest place to practice new therapy skills of communication, boundaries, and radical acceptance.
We were all very honest with each other and that authenticity allowed me to be my most genuine self. We would ask each other if there was something that needed to be talked about rather than waiting for the other person to approach. It took the pressure off of being vulnerable and it created this feeling that we had each other’s backs even if we were upset at each other. I learned to effective communicate my feelings i.e. “I am overwhelmed, there are a lot screens making noises, it’s not you.” Learning how to not take things personal as been a huge gift for me.
We practiced healthy boundaries by learning how to let someone walk away from an argument. I am stubborn and I like to say what I got to say until I am finished. But in this pod, we walked away and came back to a discussion with a clear head, better intentions to listen and learn, and more empathy for the different perspective.
At the end of the day, we accepted each other for what we brought to the community…being ourselves. There was no role anyone had in the pod other than to take care of themselves and do whatever made you happy. Radically accepting ourselves as people, dealing with a pandemic, together. That was the most powerful thing this experience has taught me. It allowed me to be more forgiving with my feelings even if they were big. No judgments necessary because we were a community.
Eventually my little pod had to disband and I am on my way to join a new pod, in a new city, for a new job. I feel so ready! This year will go down in history and I’m so glad this experience is apart of my story I’ll tell one day.
If you have joined a pod, I would love hear your experience. Send over your thoughts.
Love,
AC
Originally published at http://thislatinalefthome.com on August 9, 2020.
