First things first, let’s define currency because I don’t mean money (even though we use this kind of currency in the same way).
Currency (noun): the fact or quality of being generally accepted or in use.
You know the feeling when you’re having a really great day or maybe just an okay but it’s a day that you’re enjoying and then someone says or does something that makes you question your worth aka your currency. Uh ya, me too.
It sucks, it hurts, and it feels uncomfortable. We give away our currency all the time when we forget how much we are worth.
Do you know how much you are worth? Have you ever taken an inventory of what you have to offer? Cuz ya should! I haven’t done it so I thought I would do it with you.
What am I worth? What is my currency? What do I have to give?
My currencies:
- Taking the time to rest and not feeling guilty about it.
- Learning how to pronounce someone’s name and remember their name, even when they call me by the wrong name.
- Someone’s attention and affection without having to prove why I deserve it or being “loyal” to them.
- Not engaging in texts/comments/posts that do not serve me.
- Remembering that I am smart and my opinions matter even if they are just for myself.
- Being a highly sensitive person and feeling the weight of the world and dealing with it.
- Sharing my expertise but remembering that I am a person outside of my work, too.
- Being mindful that I am human.
Even as I wrote this list I groaned. It’s hard to write about things that make me feel so vulnerable because I rarely allow myself to give my currencies any consideration but I sure can give them away like no one’s business. I want validation and I want someone to say that they noticed them, too. But why? Why is my worth wrapped up in what someone else thinks of me? How do we get this point as people?
Probably trauma, probably not hearing what I did well that isn’t associated with grades, looks, or the paycheck I’ve received. Or maybe hearing “wow, you’re so smart for a [INSERT SOME DUMB SHIT HERE]”. Or is the comparing myself to everyone’s perfect Instagram lives? Or the advertisements that tell me I have to whiten my teeth, buy better bras, or sign up for this and that.
There are a lot of things to take your attention away from who you are and what you value, aren’t there? So here we are just giving it up left and right. But what instead we decide to give ourselves the time of day? What if we were a little more frugal with our currencies? What if we afforded ourselves a little more empathy?
I am going to try and be the person I need more of. The person that I so willing give away to others. Hold me to it.
Love,
AC
Originally published at http://thislatinalefthome.com on September 30, 2020.
